Saturday, July 23

ADHD Follow Up and a Thank You

First I would like to thank all of those who commented on my last post Life with an Angry ADHD Child.  Some of you were anonymous,  others I tried to reply to but could not.  I read each comment, sometimes twice and I thank you for your stories, each one made me cry, we are in this together.  So a huge "Thank You" for sharing with me.

I had planned on making it a series, not so sure now, we will see.  It is easier to post into the "Internet unknown" then to try and talk about it with people whom are close to me.  As much as they think they understand...they don't.  It is definitely one of those situations where you have to walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

We had his med review a few weeks ago.  His diagnosis was confirmed and he does have a mild defiance disorder.  Well...mild according to the doctor, again...walk a mile in my shoes.  They/we, decided to keep him on his Concerta at the moment and we added Tenex for the impulse control and outburst. It has only been a couple of weeks since we added that and he spent the last week at his grandparents. My Mother said "he was not the same kid", she said he seemed "spacey",  he has been back a few days now and I am not seeing that.  I do know the Tenex has made him tired on several occasions, has not helped with his sleep issues, but...I do think it has helped with his anger, my husband says the jury is still out.

We are having the typical issues at bedtime this week.  The crying, the "I can't sleep", the never ending it seems battle at bedtime.  We have been up at all  hours of the night dealing with this and are physically and mentally exhausted.  I do have to say he is not getting so worked up that he is going into a fit of rage like he used to.  Sure he says a few of the hateful things but nothing like he used to, I hope I did not just jinx that.  He is crying, but it is more crying than screaming and no physical outburst (yet) no throwing things, no slamming doors no getting into such a place we cannot get him out of.  So for that I think the Tenex maybe working.

I do think he is manipulating us...big time!  So is this his ADHD or just normal kid behaviour?  How do you tell?  When he was at  his grandparents he went to bed every night, fell right to sleep and slept all night, every night without incidence.  Great for them!  So...why is it the first night he is back we were back to the same old thing and every night since, this drives me insane!  If I ask him if he could sleep in our room would he be able to sleep and he says yes.  So..I know he is playing us, because he wants to sleep in our room.  Foot down, he is not, enough is enough.  He cries he is "scared".  Is he really?  Or again...just a game to get what he wants.  He has this fear of someone breaking in, and stealing him, we have heard this over and over.  As a parent how do you know when a fear is just that or when they are taking it above and beyond to again...manipulate to get what he wants.  My husband made him some sort of deal about walking around the house and checking things out at bedtime...if this works..great!  We are desperate.

Our daughter is now visiting the grandparents, I am so glad she is gone while we "try" and work on this.  When he is awake ...we are all awake, so I am glad she is away for a few days.  I am trying to cut down on the yelling and getting mad at bedtime.  I know it does not help anyone, but it is so hard when it is 1 or 2 or even 3 am and your tired to keep it "all in check". 

School starts in a few weeks, I am nervous about that...but that is another story for another time.

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